Sick baby, and new teeth!

Oh my poor little man, you are suffering from your first cold...fever, runny nose, cough...misery! And it is extra sad cuz you were just starting to come around the last several days from whatever was making you so unhappy...a few days of a happy baby, and then poof! You're sick! On a more exciting note though, yesterday we realized that you finally cut your two bottom teeth! They are just peeking out above the gums. No wonder you were having such a rough time! I hope you get over this quickly, because we are both so so tired, and you're not exactly sleeping well...since you can't breath out of your nose you wake up really often. Feel better soon my little monkey!
Momma loves you!

Feel like I'm failing...

I am at my wits end... I love you so much.. I do everything I can do to make sure you are healthy, and happy...but you're not happy :( You spend the majority of the day fussing and crying..unless you are eating, you seem to be upset..and not just discontented..you are angry so much. You scream like something is horribly wrong, so often and it is breaking my heart. Even immediately after eating, you get so enraged that your bowl is empty it's unreal..I laugh because I have to, or I'd be crying all the time with you. I know it isn't that you're hungry, because you are gaining weight no problem, growing well, thriving! There are brief times that you will play in your exersaucer for maybe 15 minutes or so, and the odd time that you will lie on the floor or the futon with a toy..but those times are very rare and short..I can't get anything done unless I listen to you scream..and I feel like that's what I do for most of the day. You aren't even sleeping through the night any more like you were doing so well with up till about a month ago. I know you're teething, and a lot of this could be mouth pain...but I don't see the other babies at our groups that are your age being as unhappy as you are. I wish you could tell me what's wrong.. is it me? Is there something wrong with my milk? with the way I am doing things? I just don't know what to do anymore. Momma is getting depressed, Jayden, and that's not good...I'm losing my battle for motivations..I'm pushing myself to stay out of the can't do anything slump by making baby food and trying to do one productive thing for you every day (when you let me) but I'm scared that this depression is going to trigger a bigger problem in me, and that old issues will start to surface and flare up...Please little man, come out of this phase soon, because I want nothing more for you than to be happy and healthy and loved..that's a place you aren't lacking, love. I would entertain you 24/7, sing and bounce and walk and listen to the cars go by and all the things that do make you happy and calm, but momma gets tired too, and I need a break without hearing you scream at me for taking that break...*sigh* I just don't know what I'm doing wrong :(

Momma loves you baby, please don't cry...

6 Month update!

Well my little piglet, you are half a year old, and 17lbs 4oz!! I don't know where the time has gone, seriously, you can stop growing now! You are doing so many things these days..you sit up pretty much on your own now and generally would rather be sat up than laying down, there are no cuddles any more unless you are really really tired...You can roll from back to front and front to back, but you don't often go on your tummy on purpose, and that's ok with me, I am in no hurry for you to crawl! Your favourite thing to do now is eat! You have had all kinds of fruits and veggies and so far there isn't anything that you don't like. You were a little weirded out by purred chicken at first but it grew on you :) Here are some Fall pics of you playing in the leaves with Mummy :) Look at that smile!!







Momma loves you!!